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This is a really great piece of work. It gets the mind working in ways that most people wouldn't ever think of on their own. I liked the music, the pace of the narration, and the typography effects. Keep up the good work.

I lol'd when she asked about the rain falling, sneaky reference to the opening theme from Friends.

LazyMuffin responds:

It seems like a sneaky reference? That was my main jokes. WHOOPS!

I'll try to reiterate the words of the poster below me without foaming at the mouth, because that accomplishes nothing.

I'd also like to point out, I am in no way an Apple fan-boy, I own a fair amount of Apple products, as I do others, and although Steve Jobs is an idol of mine as a visionary and one of the most chill CEOs to ever exist, nobody is perfect, I admit this and accept it about people, products, and life in general.

I felt that the comedy of this movie suffered by its lack of reality. You could have gotten away with a really great movie had the information been a bit more factual, but instead, I felt like I was watching some absurdist humor toon, which is something I don't think was intended, so in my mind, you lost points from me on that aspect.

Secondly, I felt that the voice quality was fairly poor. I know it sounds a bit mean to just be blunt like that, but it was. I tried on two computers with and without a headset, and the sound seemed to be off-balanced, meaning either channel was louder or softer at random times.

Third, the animation was decent. Of course, I don't expect a flash animation to be a DaVinci or a Michelangelo, but maybe you could have tried going over each frame with a bit of a more cautious eye to avoid the "creepy crawly" effect on your line art.

Furthermore on the aspect of animation, the comic effects, such as the characters' eyes popping out for dramatic emphasis, although not the best quality, were actually fairly amusing. I'd suggest maybe a "pop" followed by a "whistle" kind of sound effect for when the blond guy's eyes came shooting out and then dropped down.

As far as the humor goes, you seem to be attacking Siri(right?) Next time, I suggest you try something a little less far-fetched if you'd like to avoid the negative comments others have been giving you. Maybe make it say something like "Error connecting to server" and show how you believe the other product is better.

I hope my constructive criticism can help in your future endeavors.

- X


... reminded me a lot of Super Jail (YouTube it if you don't know what it is) as far as the plot-line went.

The artwork could be improved on but you'll get better with that as you practice more.

Nice work.

Alpha-Nuva responds:

yes, i've seen superjail. and you're the second person to mention it in a review, which absolutely tickles me to know. a year ago when i first saw it, some people challenged me to make a superjail-esque series (long before i had the idea of this cartoon) and then this comes into fruition.

Ehh... Decent First Flash...

Its not bad... Honestly... I have no clue what it is, but its still nice for sprite art.

One suggestion I can make, is that if you're going to submit something this short, sounds and some kind of story could help.

Also, theres really no need for those buttons to be all psychedelic and pulsing, its kind of an eyesore... you seem to be decent at assembling pixel-based art, so maybe working on some pixel-themed buttons...

Ryufirestorm responds:

Alright, a story sounds like it could be on it's way. Nice idea. And the reason I chose those "flashy" buttons is because most of my animations I've made (not uploaded) have just boring old roll-over flashes. Sounds are on their way, I've just got to figure out which ones I'm going to use and how to use them.

Immediate, permanent frontpage...

Well, NG Staff, u heard me, permanent front-page this 6.9MB of pure Awesome, otherwise I'm goin on a hunger-strike*

And to the author: Uber flash, faved it. The movie had me crapping myself with laughter from scene one, and you didn't go overkill on the sex jokes like most video-game parodies do... U had the perfect balance. Now make more, or I'll hunger-strike*

*Oldsage10 may or may not ACTUALLY hunger-strike, but there is a 99.999999% chance that he will not...

OrangePylon responds:

Sex jokes will often be more awkward than funny, so I tend to avoid those. Pedophilia jokes are insta-lulz though.

I don't know if this'd get frontpaged. If it did, I'd be really super happy, but since I respond to every review I can see it getting very annoying.


The artwork was a really nice and somewhat unique style, the sounds synced perfectly, the theme couldn't have been more accurate. Some parts of this movie were funny, others were serious; I really loved the interactive part because it allowed the viewer to talk their way out of Tommy's retarded mistake. The only thing I would suggest is to make different conversation options lead to different places, I don't like that there was only one answer, but still, an enjoyable piece nonetheless.

battay responds:

Thanks for the awesome review. :)


Yeah, I could probably do this in 4 minutes (LOL, thanks for mentioning me in the title screen) But I know that this is like your second time OPENING Flash, as a Programmer and your friend, I can appreciate that you actually learned how to loop it properly and put in a preloader...

darthmarus responds:

yeah... to be honest it wasn't that hard. the entire .fla file only has 2 frames.

I am Uber-Slick

First Roll - Destroy Self Esteem then Ban, won't happen I'm too happy to listen to someone on the internet, plus I think Poozy is pretty funny (He got me with the FishSticks Flash)

Second Roll - Not Banned. Why thanks...

All-in-All, it's ok, what would have been good is Poozy's "You're Banned" Audio Portal recording where he laughs at your ban...

Pretty decent.

It was great as far as stick flashes go, the only thing is that the 3D objects were too shiny at some parts, and also, people who were clearly dead (such as the guy who got sniped right before the ending scene) fell down on the saw blade and still screamed after being dead...

Userscripts, for Everyone.

n/a, Male


Joined on 3/26/08

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